Ok folks, a little late, but better late than never. I'm participating in the trans rights read-a-thon this week and here is a list of 66 sapphic books you can choose from. I'm going to try and read five or six this week depending on time and work schedule!

Are you participating?

To Ride a Rising Storm by Moniquill Blackgoose

I waited two years for the second book in the Nampeshiweisit series and To Ride a Rising Storm did not disappoint!

Anequs, Theod, and their dragons are reconnecting with their communities on Masquapaug during their summer break after a taxing first year at Kuiper’s Academy. Their hopes for some relaxing time with family & space to define their relationship are dashed when the Anglish begin encroaching more and more on the island.

I love that we got a chance to get to know Anequs, her family, and her culture more in this book. Through Theod, we get to unpack European conditioning and think about what love and family could look like outside of those standards. Although I continued to enjoy the ways that Anequs pushes back against the status quo, I like that Liberty keep her grounded by explaining the ways that bucking the system in such a way can cause harm, too.

We also get a bit more of a peak into Liberty’s world, which I’d hoped would be fleshed out more. Although we learn more about her concerns and community, I would like to see a lot more of them integrated into the storyline of the third book. The Black community in New England (IRL) were no strangers to the struggles of the Indigenous tribes around them, so it would be cool to read that in the Nampeshiweisit series, too. Do they have dragon-culture? Are there other creatures they are bonded with? I hope we find out!

Pacing-wise, I think this book picks up a bit sooner than the first one with Anglish political conflict pushing the plot forward. It was really thrilling to see the way it all comes to a point and the plot definitely left me excited to get into book 3.

I think this series is on par with my love of N.K. Jemisin’s Broken Earth Trilogy and The Greenbone Saga by Fonda Lee.

Until the Clock Strikes Midnight by Alechia Dow

Read the full review here: https://bookish-afrolatina.binderybooks.com/item/4uuLHyJmLqIWL060tu5F/

The People's Library by Veronica G. Henry

This book had me on a rollercoaster of emotions! Veronica G. Henry blends speculative fiction, sci-fi, fantasy, and mystery in The People’s Library. 

Our main character is a Black woman librarian named Echo London. At the start, she’s the head of a public library in near-future Cleveland until her boss informs her that it will no longer receive funding from the cit but she’s a top contender for the position of curator at the brand-new People’s Library. A place where patrons can check out a virtual historical figure/thinker and learn directly from them. To many, this seems like a pretty cool place to learn, but Echo is skeptical. With no other viable options, that she could see, Echo takes the job and begins to see its appeal. That is, until mysterious woman attacks her on behalf of the anti-tech rebellion. This rouses her suspicions and sends the librarian on a journey of dark discoveries.

As a Black librarian, I vacillated between despair, suspicion, annoyance, and sadness as I read The People’s Library. In Echo’s world, AI is embedded in just about everything, which is a big fear of mine as I know how detrimental that will likely be. While I related a lot with her natural curiosity, I kept thinking that my girl was not being skeptical enough!! I was writing comments to her in my book like she could read it somehow. Despite my feelings, I found that this book was clever and engrossing. I felt like I could not put it down because I needed to know what would happen next! 

If you’re interested in discussions of the future of AI, utopias, privacy, surveillance, knowledge preservation, and what it means to be alive, this is a fantastic book to read.

*Note: I chatted with the author about her book on IG Live thanks to Sistah SciFi, so if you want to hear more of our thoughts on it, you can head over to their social media or watch our panel discussion on Saturday, April 25th, 2026.

The River Has Roots by Amal El-Mohtar

The audiobook of The River Has Roots is incredible!  The story is entrancing but the music elevates the experience and gave me the feeling of being transported into it. 

It’s about two sisters with an unbreakable bond and powerful magic they were gifted by the ancient trees that they care for. This includes a queer main character and a suitor who refuses to take, “no” for an answer.

I love that their magic system is literary and musical. It’s beautifully unique! I hope y’all listen to it when you get the chance.

I Accidentally Hired a Shadow Walker (Accidents Happen #3) by Jessica Cage

I love that each of the books in the Accidents Happen series has a Black woman main character who is a badass at her job and is guaranteed to be pampered by her loved ones. 

Jericha Brown owns her own security firm and is dedicated to all of its inner workings. When a lead agent leaves the firm, taking some of her other employees with him just as she's landed her dream contract, she's put in a precarious situation. All Jericha can think of to save her ass is reaching out to the backstabbing ex-bestie who stole her ideas in college for a temporary partnership. Turns out, Miss Klepto up and sold her company to an annoyingly gorgeous man named Raymond Statton. What Jericha doesn't know is that this man is a Shadow Walker.

This is a super entertaining enemies-to-lovers romance with plenty of spice, hilarious banter, and found family. The book is a bit too long for my liking but it's worth it.

If you haven't already, get your hands on the Accidents Happen series so you can kick your feet and cackle to your heart's content!

Here are 10 horror books written by women I'm looking forward to:

1. She Waits Where Shadows Gather by Michelle Tang

   Avery and Carlos Tam have built their lives on logic, not legends. Carlos, the host of a hit reality show that exposes paranormal hoaxes, has made a name disproving the supernatural.

   But when they travel to his ancestral home in the Philippines, darkness clings to every corner. The mirrors are shrouded. The housekeeper won't stay in the house alone. And no one will speak of the tragedies the family has seen.

   Then a brutal car crash leaves Carlos trapped in his own body―silent, helpless, and utterly vulnerable. As Avery tends to him, the house begins to stir. It watches. It listens. And it speaks―in a voice only Carlos can hear―offering a twisted kind of comfort.

   And as the lies buried by Carlos and his family begin to surface, Avery must confront the truth: if the past won't rest, their future may never begin.

   Some inherit memories. Others inherit monsters.

2. Not Your Final Girl by Mikayla Rudolph

   A feminist slasher novel fueled by female rage and haunted by gruesome murders, in this contemporary reimagining of Tess of the D’Urbervilles there can only be one Final Girl.

3. The Temptation of Charlotte North by Camilla Bruce

   A rebellious young woman desperate to escape her predetermined life.
   
   The handsome but married priest who has caught her eye.
   
   And the resolute schoolteacher who values science above all.
   
   In 1910, on a small, remote island that boasts more sheep than people, the fates of Charlotte North, Jasper Hill, and Ruth Russel are perched on the edge of a cliff, and a strange wind is blowing. . . .
   
   When an ancient tower—rumored to have once imprisoned a witch—crumbles, it releases something powerful: a restless spirit that knocks inside the walls and sends household objects flying. A spirit that seems to be drawn to Charlotte, who sees in it a potential for power and change.
   
   But first she must overcome Jasper’s piety and Ruth’s fierce determination to banish the terrifying entity. Only then will she gain the power to claim the life that she desires.

4. Accumulation by Aimee Pokwatka

   A twisty, searing, conversation-starting novel about a filmmaker-turned-housewife who moves into her dream house and is forced to consider whether it's the house or herself that is haunted.

5. We Could Be Anyone by Anna Maria Mclemore

   Two teen con-artists must execute an almost impossible scam at an exclusive mansion in this thriller that's White Lotus meets Mexican Gothic - for teens.

6. The Girl With The Thousand Faces by Sunyi Dean

   a stunning Gothic tale set in a historical Hong Kong that meshes ancient myths and local legends into a haunting story of ghosts, grief, and women who will not forgive.

7. Neon Moon by Grace Reynolds

   Darlene Boone is a survivor. For more than a year, she’s been bartending at the famous Teegarden Saloon, a honky tonk in the Texas Hill Country, while attempting to put her life back together in the wake of an abusive past. But when an axe-wielding maniac descends on The Teegarden during one of the bar's busiest nights of the year, Darlene, along with everyone else in the crowded establishment, will have to put down their whiskeys and take up the nearest weapon if they're to survive this unexpected night from hell. No one knows if they'll make it out alive, least of all Darlene, but one thing's for sure no matter what: Texans don't go down without a fight.

8. Doe by Rebecca Darrow

   Thrilling crossover YA Horror perfect for fans of Krystal Sutherland and Tiffany Jackson, where the captain of a high school cheer team is caught in a bitter rivalry and turns to an ancient, supernatural creature for help, not knowing she’s just made a deal with a devil and could lose everything that matters, including her life.

9. The Summer of the Serpent by Cecilia Eudave

   This surreal, horror-tinged, Guadalajara-set work of Latin American “literature of the unusual” is a kaleidoscopic descent into the small violences and hidden horrors of one sweltering summer, forming a coil of vignettes that slither under the skin for a strange, deeply human portrait of memory, myth, and family.

10. Muneca by Cynthia Gomez

    A vivid, surreal Gothic about a queer, Latine, working class witch who sets out to rescue a bespelled heiress and loses control of her powers and her heart in the process.

My dream for this community is that we come together to support Indigenous creators, authors, bookstores!

Together we have the power to make a real difference.

Each month, I will tell you about the bookshop I am supporting for the month and create a community shopping day. I try to make these around paydays! Buy a book (or two or five) from the bookstore directly, or get a two-for-one and buy the book through my bookshop link in Bindery and support me and the bookshop!

This month, we are supporting Black Walnut Books, an Indigenous queer woman owned bookstore! Let's give her the best day.

I've added some of my favorite reads for you to order, or if none of them are your taste (or you already own them!) click through and then search for any book you want! I still will get a small commission!

Happy Book Shopping! (And request a bookstore to support in April below!)

With the weather turning nice and spring-like this past week where I live I've been going for more nature walks on a trail close to my house. It's peaceful and beautiful. I love listening to audiobooks while I walk and take in nature.

The below books all deal with horror centered around hikes and nature walks!

The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon by Stephen King

A young girl goes for a hike with her mother and brother and winds up getting lost.

The Woodkin by Alexander James

A man trying to run away from his past decides to hike a long trail only to come across a dead body and a strange mountain town.

The Hike by Drew Magary

While hiking on a work retreat, a man stumbles into a whole new reality.

Hunted by Darcy Coates

A hiker goes missing and her friends take to the woods to try and find her before it's too late.

The Extra by Annie Neugebauer

A hiking/camping trip turns odd when ten hikers become eleven. However everyone seems to know each other. So who is the extra?

The Ritual by Adam Nevill

A hiking/camping trip goes wrong when a group of friends decide to cut through the woods to get home.

The Woods are Always Watching by Stephanie Perkins

Two best friends take a hiking/camping trip as one last hurrah before they go off to college. However something sinister awaits them in the woods.

What's your favorite out door activity during sping/summer?

Thank you GP Putnam’s Son of Books for Young Readers  for the advance reader copy 🤩

This debut YA fantasy explores heavy topics such as grief and loss as well as finding your way through uncharted territories.

Mikaela has to reckon with what’s in store for her next. Going to college? Ascending to Witch Queen? Or, will her vision come true?

It’s hard to consider the future when death is in the cards.

This book does have some similarities to Legendborn, but definitely not a copy. This is how you properly showcase inspiration.

This book had so many things I loved! I love that it is set in Louisiana, tarot cards, and all the witchery!

This is a great, decent read for the YA audiences but for me it was still a little bit underwhelming. But I would still recommend to young adults & anyone who wants to give it a shot.

Death Card by Jasmine Smith releases August 11th

The Underworld is Calling: The Bond of Hercules Book Club Kit is HERE! ⛓️💀

If you thought the drama at the Spartan War Academy couldn’t get any more intense, Jasmine Mas just proved us all wrong. Alexis is back, she’s officially bound to the Underworld’s dark heirs, and she is done playing nice.

Whether you’re team Burn Olympus to the Ground or you’re just here for the brooding husbands, one thing is certain: you cannot read this book alone. You need to talk about it. You need to vent about it. And you definitely need to smash some plates because of it.

That’s why we’ve put together the Bond of Hercules Book Club Kit to help you host a night that even the Fates couldn't predict.

What’s Inside the Kit?

We’ve designed this kit to be as dark, moody, and chaotic as Alexis herself. Here’s a sneak peek at what you’ll get when you download it:

• 🍷A Themed Assembly Feast Menu: Featuring recipes for our signature Manacled Blackberry Mule and Vengeance Braised Short Ribs.

• 🗣️Spicy Discussion Questions: We’re diving deep into the marriage bond, the Assembly of Death, and that monster vs. god power dynamic.

• 🏟️Interactive Academy Activities: From a cathartic "Wrecking Vengeance" smash session to a high-stakes Caesar Cipher code-breaking challenge.

• 📜 Official Initiation Certificates: Formalize your rank as a Gladiator, Underworld Heir, or Rogue Monster.

• 🎁 Door Prize Inspo: Curated ideas for the perfect Bound jewelry and Underworld-themed gifts.

Ready to Join the Assembly?

Don’t host a boring meeting. Make it an initiation. Whether your book club meets in a cozy living room or a dimly lit Underworld (your basement), this kit has everything you need to set the mood.

👉 [LINK TO ACCESS THE BOND OF HERCULES BOOK CLUB KIT]👈 https://tinyurl.com/42kxhu2d 

Tag us in your photos using @thepageladies so we can see your feasts and your smashed plates!

Just when we thought Olympus couldn’t get messier, Hercules came back married. 🔥💍⚔️

Our book club devoured Bonds of Hercules by Jasmine Mas, and let me tell you the chaos level? Elevated!

Here’s how the group broke down:

👩🏻The Drama Lover: “Eternally bound to the Underworld’s dark heirs in a marriage that shakes Olympus?? I live for divine mess.”

👩🏽The Revenge Girlie: “Alexis joining the Assembly of Death for vengeance? That’s my girl. Burn it down.”

👩🏼The Romance Defender: “Are the husbands morally questionable? Yes. Am I still emotionally invested? Also yes.”

👩🏾The Mythology Nerd: “The politics of Olympus unraveling while gods scramble to control her power? Perfect.”

👱🏼‍♀️The Softie: “Under all that rage, Alexis is still trying to figure out who she is beyond everyone’s expectations. That hit.”

👩🏻‍🦱The Chaos Instigator: “A god can’t be manacled. A monster can’t be caged. And apparently neither can my feelings.”

If you read Blood of Hercules, you already know Alexis is not built to sit quietly. In this sequel, she’s reeling from a bond she didn’t choose, tied to dark heirs who blur the line between ally and enemy. Instead of crumbling, she sharpens. She trains. She plots.

The tension? Immaculate.

The vengeance arc? Satisfying.

The morally gray men? Unfortunately compelling.

What we loved most is that Alexis refuses to be defined by fate, marriage, or Olympus itself. She’s done surviving. She’s claiming power even if it terrifies the gods.

By the end, half of us were ready to join the Assembly of Death, and the other half were still arguing about which Underworld heir deserves redemption.

❓️If you were magically bound to a powerful and possibly dangerous immortal are you plotting revenge or leaning into the chaos? 👀🔥

❗️Do you want the full book club kit? The come join The First Editions!

• 🍷A Themed Assembly Feast Menu: Featuring recipes for our signature Manacled Blackberry Mule and Vengeance Braised Short Ribs.

• 🗣️Spicy Discussion Questions: We’re diving deep into the marriage bond, the Assembly of Death, and that monster vs. god power dynamic.

• 🏟️Interactive Academy Activities: From a cathartic "Wrecking Vengeance" smash session to a high-stakes Caesar Cipher code-breaking challenge.

• 📜 Official Initiation Certificates: Formalize your rank as a Gladiator, Underworld Heir, or Rogue Monster.

• 🎁 Door Prize Inspo: Curated ideas for the perfect Bound jewelry and Underworld-themed gifts.

Happy Reading Everyone!

Are you looking for a book with ... 👀

This is just in time for Ramadan ending and the post is scheduled to go out to the public on Monday so here is a sneak peak to the post for all 12 books that I'm showcasing here! This isn't all my books by Muslim authors but I picked a few to keep this manageable and share some with you guys before Ramadan ends🥹

Happy Friday! Another week that we have gotten through and my reading has been like the weather in my area, wacky and inconsistent.

With the promise of spring weather and seeing sprouts of the Ren Faire content ramping back up, I am longing and missing my own home faire as well as the honey shop that I work at.
And in that moment, I thought it would be a perfect segue into this week's spotlight!

🥁🥁🥁🥁

🎉Sydney J. Shields!!!!!🎉

I adored the book The Honey Witch. As a honey shop witch myself, I loved how Sydney created powerful women in her debut novel who just craved to experience life to the fullest, yet are constrained by the curse placed on their family. While out MC Marigold's mother chose love, Marigold herself wants more than the rigidity of Regency societal pressures, and chooses power.

And I love the duality of these choices as Marigold goes through a journey of finding herself and her power.

This novel was cozy and delightful and, as an eldest daughter who loves honey, it was right up my alley. I cannot wait to read more from Sydney!

If you want more of an indepth analysis on the themes and motifs within the novel, I made a post in August for you to check out:

https://brilefae.binderybooks.com/item/iTZtry4VmnygRevX7TaO/

For more about Sydney, you can check out her website:

https://www.sydneyjshields.com/

Happy Friday 🐸🍄

I just finished book three of the Halfling Saga and I’m about to start the fourth book, and I went down the rabbit hole of reading reviews. A lot of people are upset about the direction of the male lead, saying that in the last book he basically becomes a “lap dog” for the main character and loses his edge.

And TBH… I’m confused by that criticism.

To me, Riven/Killian never felt like a traditional shadow daddy character in the first place. Yes, he’s powerful and mysterious at times, but once you really get to know him he feels much more like a soft but strong type of character. Loyal, protective, a little emotionally vulnerable, and very centered around the main character.

So seeing people complain that he isn’t dominating the story or acting like the classic morally gray alpha male is interesting to me. I feel like some readers expected one archetype and got another.

And i got me to thinking about my own reading preferences.

I actually like two very different types of male leads:

Soft & steady – the loyal, emotionally grounded characters who support the heroine and let her shine. They’re strong but not performative about it.

Think:

• Peeta from Hunger Games

• David from Uglies

• River from the Halfling series

Shadow daddies – the dark, morally gray, intimidating characters who carry power and danger with them.

Think:

• Xaden from Fourth Wing

• Caz from Vicious Bonds

Both can be great, but I don’t necessarily think every fantasy series needs the second one.

Now I’m curious where everyone else falls.

When you’re reading fantasy or romantasy, which type of male character do you prefer?

The soft and steady ones…
or the shadow daddies?

The 13th: A Monthly Brain Dump from the Spite Club, with an important question at the end

Let me tell you something about the 13th. I work in construction. I have been inside every floor of more tall buildings than you have had hot dinners. And I need you to know — with the full authority of someone who has stood on it — that the 13th floor exists. It is there. You are on it. We just renamed it the 14th because somewhere along the line humanity collectively decided that lying about math was preferable to confronting our own superstitions. I can count. You can count. The elevator knows. We're just all agreeing not to talk about it.

Which is, honestly, a perfect metaphor for how most of us, at least those of you who found your way here, are doing right now.

Welcome to the first installment of my monthly update, dropping on the 13th of every month, only to my Spite Club besties. I'm going to tell you what I've been reading, how I'm actually doing, and what's coming up — with my whole chest and zero apologies. (Actually with only part of my chest because I'm still unlearning everything I've ever been taught and I make mistakes, so if I do, call me out. I probably deserve it.)

What I Finished This Month

And Side by Side They Wander by Molly Tanzer — I wanted to love this more than I did, and I think that's admittedly probably a me problem. The premise is genuinely brilliant: a ragtag group of misfits on a mission to steal back Earth's greatest art from aliens who won't return it — a direct parallel to the very real and very ongoing battles between colonized cultures and the countries that stole from them. That emotional core should have gutted me. I wanted it to. Instead I got some art history, a deeply strange ending, shallow characters, and the dawning realization that I was apparently supposed to know the full story of Orpheus going in. I did not. If you're an art buff or a mythology girlie, you will probably get significantly more out of this than I did. I'm not saying it's bad. I'm saying it required homework I didn't do. I used to not read novellas because I didn't think they had enough depth. This is the kind of story that made me think that. But hey, 3 stars, would recommend to someone artier than me.

Nobody's Baby by Olivia Waite — Cozy, queer, autistic auntie detective in space solves the case of the impossible baby — the first baby in 300 years on a ship where fertility is supposed to be paused until they get to their new planet. Mystery isn't my genre because it's historically full of old racist grumpy white dudes with a drinking problem who are all somehow Billy Bob Thornton, but if it were all written like this, I would pick up a lot more. I started with book 1 in this series and absolutely plan to continue it as more come out.

Playing for Keeps by Alexandria Bellefleur — A bisexual's dream!!! Think: the two sexy lady agents of TSwift and a bisexual Travis Kelce falling in love, but make it gay. Extra gay. Contemporary isn't my genre, but I am OBSESSED with this one. The kind of obsessed that makes me want to pick up everything else this author has ever written. THere is so much character depth and back story and the spice level is friggin hot. And Hallelujah, Alexandria Bellefleur is an established author with lots more books that I will be picking up.

Amari and the Despicable Wonders and Amari and the Metalwork Menace by B.B. Alston — The inclusive magical world that replaced a certain wizarding world in our household (we don't speak of its author due to her harm to the trans community. If you think your kids can't handle a boycott, I promise you, you're wrong. Kids LOVE raising the middle finger to the establishment. It's basically coded in their DNA. See below notes on 10 to 25, another book I'm currently reading.) My kids and I have loved every minute of this action-packed series, and book four ends on a cliffhanger I will be saying nothing further about except: BB Alston, how DARE you, and also please hurry up with book five. Let Amari be a kid for five minutes. FIVE MINUTES.

Stuffed by Liz Braswell — My family loved this book, which I say through gritted teeth because I bought this book to personally attack...myself. If you have a child who loves stuffed animals, fair warning: this will make your entire household hold on to them a little tighter and a little longer. I once donated some stuffed animals after our house flooded because I was purging (so I didn't have to pack as much, sue me!) and my son never forgave me. This was after an entire YEAR of him not noticing they were gone. So naturally we read this book together so he could remind me of that, repeatedly, while I sat with my guilt like the masochist I apparently am. Trigger warnings for younger kids: some stuffed animals are harmed by monsters. They get sewn back together. My son handled it. Did I handle the guilt? Only my therapist knows (haha that's hilarious I don't have a therapist. In this economy? I have a best friend who deserves a sainthood is what I have.)

Space Battle Lunchtime graphic novels 1-3 by Natalie Riess — Cute, cozy, sapphic, and about a TV cooking competition that the main character gets kidnapped from Earth to star in. For some reason the second one is hard to get your hands on. It's on eBay, you can find it if you try. Leave me a comment if you can't because another of my special interests is finding hard to find books. Anyway these are SO fun and cute and heartwarming. Read these. They are good soup and they will not expose your insides. (I refuse to go one single blog without a Gideon the Ninth reference. REFUSE )

Three Shattered Souls by Mai Corland, book 3 in the Broken Blades series — I am a sucker for the "found family group of misfits taking on the fascist regime" trope and this delivered for me in a big way. Multi-POV with short chapters means you will absolutely fly through it, especially if you have as many ARCs as I have waiting for you on Netgalley. (It's a lot. Maybe in another post I'll tell you about allllllllll of the books waiting on me to read them in my Netgalley account.) There are 3 books in the completed series and there were 3 sets of special editions - Broken Binding, Goldsboro, and the first editions of general releases. This image by @cat.book.nook mixes some of them and when I saw it I may or may not have lost the battle to my internalized consumerism and purchased them all. Sigh. All my boycotting and thrifting and I still lose the battle more than I'd like. Cue anti-capitalist guilt, yay!

What I'm Currently Reading

I want to preface this by saying that I have a problem. I admit it. I have an audiobook, a hardcover for my nightstand, a paperback for my kid's baseball practice, fiction for my heart, nonfiction for my brain, a book I'm reading aloud to my dyslexic kid, and an ebook (or two or seven) on my phone for any time I'm waiting somewhere without a physical book. I also requested way too many ARCs on Netgalley and now I have to live with that. This is my life. I have made *choices.*

The Subtle Art of Folding Space by John Chu — in ARC audiobook format, thanks to the lovely folks at Macmillan. A mechanic who fixes the literal nuts and bolts that hold the universe together, major family trauma, and a himbo sidekick who magically cooks things that are described in ways that made me pause the audiobook to think about food. I am enjoying this immensely and I will report back.

Platform Decay by Martha Wells — Murderbot book 8. I will always read this series because I relate to Murderbot on a cellular level and I will not be elaborating further. (Autistic over protective robot in space who just wants to watch his shows and not deal with humans: it me. So apparently I WILL be elaborating.) I'll be honest that I haven't loved Martha Wells' other work as much. The sarcastic Muir-like comedic tone that makes Murderbot special doesn't show up the same way elsewhere in her books. But THIS series? Every time. Without question.

Stuffed Book 2: Into Darkness — yes we are reading the sequel. Apparently one round of emotional self-flagellation was not sufficient. My son has opinions about what we read together and those opinions are "more of this please." I am nothing if not a devoted mother (aka SUCKA) and a glutton for punishment.

10 to 25: The Science of Motivating Young People by David Yeager — This is not self help. I want to be very clear about that because I have a well documented hostility toward self help books. This is science. Long term scientific studies done by the author found that young people make risky decisions not because they lack the intelligence to understand long term consequences or the wherewithal for self denial of instant gratification, but because their need to be respected as full members of their community (aka like an adult) far outweighs everything else. On a biological level. As a parent of teenagers and a person with the 'tism m'lord who requires receipts before changing her behavior, this book is a NEED, not a want. Highly recommend for any parent, educator, manager, or person who has ever been or dealt with anyone between the ages of 10 and 25 and wondered what the hizell was happening in their brain. (Can I take this moment to ask the publishing world why nonfic covers are so damn boring? This book is absolutely FASCINATING and that cover is the most boring thing I've ever laid eyes on. Do better Simon & Schuster!)

The End of Violence by Dr. Gary Slutkin — yes I giggled at the author name, I am not above it, I am a Slutkin for ending violence as well sir! This is a book by a CDC disease doctor who has found, through long term scientific study, that if you treat violence like a transmittable disease you can address it the same way you'd address tuberculosis: educate the community, treat the afflicted, and identify and support those most at risk before they become vectors. I listened to the audiobook and found it so compelling that I preordered a hard copy to annotate, summarize, and highlight for my dyslexic social worker bestie. Free labour in this economy? That should tell you everything. (Again though, another wildly boring cover. What is up with that???)

One Day, Everyone Will Have Always Been Against This by Omar El Akkad — same story. Listened to it, purchased a hard copy, currently annotating it with the fervor of someone who needs everyone she knows to read this immediately. Which brings me to something I want to talk to you about. (Now THAT is a cover! Props to the folks over at Knopf because this cover makes the same statement the book makes in far fewer pages.)

Something I Want To Try (And I Want Your Opinion)

I'm planning a series where I review books with full spoilers. Not every book, but the ones that have something so important to say that I want you to have access to it even if you never pick up the book yourself. El Akkad's book is the first one I have in mind. I've annotated the absolute shit out of this book and I want to share my notes.

I used to do a Discord book club called the Genre Sluts. You may have even been a member. It's still there, but I haven't scheduled a book in a while because I found it consumed a large chunk of my life without providing me the close community I needed from a book club. I don't know if it's my personality or just the autism, but I need to see peoples faces to feel the genuine connection I need from community. The Discord chat just wasn't doing it for me.

I have complicated feelings about this new strategy. I want you to go read the whole book. I want you to support these authors. But I also know that some of you will never read certain books no matter how hard I recommend them (nonfiction especially) and I think hearing me talk through the whole thing might actually send some of you to the book anyway. And for the ones who genuinely won't get there, I'd rather you have the ideas than not. We have one short life. I've done the math. We cannot read everything. I genuinely want to know what you think about this in the comments.

Footnote: I've actually done the math. I'm 41 and if I read 100 books a year - though my average tends to be closer to 90 so I'm being optimistic here - until I'm retired at 60, that's approximately 1850 books after subtracting about half a year as I'm counting from my birthday. After I retire I hope to read twice that. And if I live till 81.4 like the average woman in America, that's 4280, plus the original 1850 is 6,130 books left. And at the average rate I add to my TBR - 10 books per month of which I get to only about 3, I'm looking at a deficit of 3,360 books I want to read and won't ever get to. If there is an afterlife, it damn well better have books.

How Am I Actually Doing

Fucking terrible, if I'm honest, but I don't know how anyone who isn't actively choosing delusion can be doing much better right now. The world is burning, democracy is dead, and my TikTok views are in the gutter. And maybe that's because I'm a bad creator — only you, dearest gentle reader, can tell me. Don't tell me, it will hurt my feelings. (Jk, I suppress those so hard if I have them you'll never know anyway.) And every time I hear Aaron Parnas say "breaking news" I have a visceral stress response that makes me want to throw my phone into the sun, which is a problem when TikTok is currently my main way of bringing people here, to what I have lovingly decided to call the Good Place. (And let's be real here - if my unhinged sarcastic badly written excessive parentheses sci-fi Bindery page is a Good Place, what does that say about the state of the world?)

But here's the thing. Sci-fi has always been our proof that we have a future worth imagining. That things can be better. That humans, at our absolute worst, still contain people who dream of something more. So I will keep showing up on the 13th — on the floor that definitely exists, that we all just agreed to lie about — and I will keep reading books and talking about them, because in our darkest hours the most radical thing I know how to do is keep hoping.

See you next month. Probably still terrible. Definitely still reading.

— Zee

If you liked this and want more of whatever THIS is — unhinged book analysis, barely contained rage at the state of the world, and occasional Tamsyn Muir references and em dashes that I will never apologize for — consider subscribing for $5/month. Every cent goes to people who actually need it, because I have a day job and a cause, not a brand deal. This is my middle finger to Big 5 publishing, dressed up as a book blog. Come hold it up with me.

Hello Friends,

Tomorrow is the last day to shop my current stock on Pango.I will prob leave the special editions up and Free Little Library everything else. I have many more books to list, and need to make room. I feel like every time I unhaul 60 books, I've had another 60 books incoming!

Reminder that this Saturday is community Support Black Walnut books day. All books purchased through my Bindery bookshop link support Black Walnut books (and I get a small percentage! or you can purchase from them directly!). Let's extend our support to Indigenous bookstores.

It's been almost 2 years of posting content every day (my anniversary is in may) and I can't overstate how debased the normalization of scrolling is.

I am convinced of two things:

1) there will be scroll rehabs soon (and we will describe scrolling as an addiction/sickness)

2) there will be a new DSM entry that describes whatever tf happens to your brain when you get into the influencer racket

^^you will never be a worse partner than when you are caring about how many views your new brain rot is getting

It's hard to say what was worse for my mental health

becoming a content creator or working with my ex-publisher (which collapsed 1 month after my book came out). I'm not exaggerating when I say, this past summer, I could physically feel my mental health deteriorating.

(A weird side effect of 2 years of posting is that it made me certain I'm not having kids. I don't understand how one could parent with this addictive drug that is totally accepted and mainstream and pushed on kids.)

I haven't opened a social media app since Sunday march 1st. I scheduled my IG content (and this post) and removed the apps from my main phone (I got a "content" phone this summer because storage was an issue). This stealth hiatus is what I mean by quiet quitting -- maintaining my social presence w minimum effort.

I'll see how I feel at the end of my 2 week break (maybe I'll miss posting?) but my rough plan is to pivot to writing more long form essays and treating this (SadRichGirls.com) as a Substack with weekly/biweekly posts.

Making content is the fastest way to become pathologically self-conscious

Before posting each Reel/TikTok, I would visualize and imagine the answers to: "What is the most unhinged hateful toxic reaction that someone could have to this?" Then I'd marinate in that space for a while. Mmmm.

It is a sort of "skill" to anticipate what precisely internet psychos will hurl at you (lotssss of bean soup) and I desperately want to unlearn it. Obviously. I don't want to waste a moment imagining what the dumbest, incel-y-est person thinks about me.

I thought about turning off comments (some people were like, nooo dont do that your engagement will drop! literally. friends of mine said this and i had to be like, ya but my mental health??) but then people DM you. I don't want that either.

For me, not reading comments isn't only about being too smart to engage with 99% of commenters-- it's also because I don't want to self-censor. when you read criticism ("you're pretentious", "you're condescending,") you keep checking yourself for that quality. I found myself being hyper self-critical and these voices of internet randoms-- people whose opinions I would never listen to irl-- were deafening in my head. (I'm condescending on purpose!)

So you dilute yourself to try to avoid any criticism and this means you make boring ass NormalBob content. do i want to make crazy gonzo content? not exactly. I just want to get rid of all the voices.

i hate living in a self-created panopticon

I'm sort of mad at myself for getting here. I took a faustian deal that, I would argue, I had to accept for my author career--but you never have to take it. I could've let my book die. I could've looked on as it was decapitated and just let it happen - but instead i went down the social media warpath route willingly. It was a choice.

I might be falling for the 'one for them, one for me' fallacy: I want to have a career as an author, if it means i have to participate in the attention economy so be it -- here's 2 min of me talking about how I'm annoyed my friend was late again. I don't know if you can make short-form content without self-harming* to some degree. But I'm gonna try-- this is my new thing. I'm planning to queue up my posts twice a month in batches and only check the stats, say, once a week. (Should it be less?)

I'm not gonna pick up my phone almost 100x a day (this stat is embarrassing- since my mini-hiatus started I've cut this in half). I'm not gonna try to ride topical waves (but when there's a wild article in the cut, will i be able to resist?). If one of my videos is going viral, I'm not gonna make one that piggybacks off it (Part II!!).

It's just going to be scheduled programming. consistent. agnostic of what is going on in the world. I think (hope) this will be enough distance so I don't feel like social media is my main (unpaid) job.

*I've come to believe that posting publicly, exposing yourself to scrutiny/hate on the internet, is self-harm. Every influencer gets to the point where they either make a video replying to hate comments (guilty) or a crying video where they say, "i'm a real person with feelings".

i've earned the right to protect myself... right?

I read how to do nothing by jenny odell a few years ago and it really stuck with (aka haunted) me- yet I have been more online than ever in the past 2 years.

I don't think i need to justify my new plan of pretending to be online-- because that's what I'm basically planning to do. I'll continue to "post every day" but I'm only simulating that I am actually there.

As much as social media has been proven to be deleterious to mental health, I wonder if I might be jumping the gun in quitting slash biting the hand that feeds me. Maybe I need to pay my dues a few more years. Because It's impossible to deny that my brain rot on IG is correlated with the sale of my 2nd book (both my new agent and new editor found me on socials). And as someone brought up in an Asian household, I cannot stress to you how much "paying your dues" is beaten into you.

The 'keep your head down' mentality has never been how I've played it though (it's never rewarded- bamboo ceiling!) so even though I'd bet anything that if I asked my family for their advice (don't worry, I will jump off a bridge before I do this) they would say KEEP DOING SOCIAL MEDIA AT A BREAKNECK PACE THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS MENTAL HEALTH!!!

But I'd continue to ignore their advice. In fact, imagining what they would advise gives me more confidence that ratcheting down is the smart decision 🤔

I hate getting unsolicited feedback from people I don't respect

Goodreads. Amazon reviews. The comments section. But the understanding is creators invite criticism through the act of posting (idk if I totally agree with this, but it's accepted). I feel like my phone is inhabited with demons all the time.

Part of what inspired this invisible hiatus (does it count less since I scheduled content? I really can't decide) is a newer friend (I met her at my Salon in November and we've gotten close) who told me she deleted IG a while ago. She's in her late 20s and we have great conversations about culture and she is not at all "out of the loop" for being a non-scroller.

Until recently, I genuinely believed that in order to be zeitgeist-y and have my finger on the pulse I "needed" to be somewhat online. I still believe this but I care less about being THAT zeitgeist-y. I can settle for being moderately zeitgeist-y (tiktok format that would do well: how zeitgesit-y are you??)

If, moving forward, my finger-on-the-pulse-ness is simply me reading contemporary fiction, 2 years behind the Big Trends (couldn't care less about cultural microtrends), I am good with that---

because i never wanted to be here in the first place.

("here" being IG/TikTok) My hand to god, when i had the very 1st meeting with my ex-publisher i told them not to waste their breath advising me to do social media. I would never ever do it no matter how important they thought it was. They were fine with my refusal.

And then i got to know them.

They (the folks i worked with at my ex-publisher) had to be the quickest most lethal version of Weaponized Incompetence I've ever met. I went from saying "no social media" to making an account (1 year before my release, mind you) and posting every. single. day. That's how effectively their withhhhering incompetence made me tremble.

It was like swearing I'd never gamble-- and then learning to count cards when I saw what a desperate situation I was in.

I post out of fear

and inertia. I feel I owe it to To Have & Have More, my orphan child. And it suffers from being self-published. I can't provide it with the marketing and publicity it deserves-- the closest I can give it is a viral post every now and again. This is like my baby who deserves to be outfitted in bonpoint but, devastatingly, I have her wearing oshkosh b'gosh. Sure thats fine for most kids but MY baby deserves more.

*Damn $235 swim trunks for baby boys! (i love it)

(you would think I'm crazy if you knew how many photoshoots of this book I've done/how many glamour pics I have in my camera roll)

Vegetable metaphor

In my very first posts, I ended with a disclaimer where I would say, "these ideas have been flattened and reduced for social media," (people still bean-soup-ed over every video so I stopped bothering.) I have to remind myself of this disclaimer when I see an offensively reductive video: other creators are also flattening their ideas to cater to the algorithm.

The thing is, maybe the original un-flattened, un-reduced idea behind their/my post was good and smart and worth listening to. But the act of flattening it takes out all the nutrition. You're left with just the husk. This is why I don't eat canned vegetables.

If the original thing is nutritious, but you eliminate all of the nutrients, what is the point of eating the dregs that remain? The only reason is because you can say, "I ate a vegetable." You can still technically refer to it as a vegetable. And to yourself, you justify consuming this empty, non-nutritious (usually harmful) barely-a-vegetable-anymore entity by saying that it was at one point nutritious.

I've tried to reduce my social media time before (just to be clear, my vice isn't scrolling/consuming content, it's checking my stats and making new content instead of writing books) and failed. I've done invisible hiatuses before but I haven't been able to change my habits in a significant or lasting way. Part of posting this is to shame myself into getting offline for real.

I failed before because my reduction was too half-hearted. I didn't remove the apps from my phone, I was relying on being "more disciplined" to break a habit that is really an addiction. In Ria Chopra's essay (which is an excerpt from her book Never Logged Out) she calls out the trend of IG posts that appear to be scroll-shaming (10 Things to read/watch instead of doomscrolling) and how substituting podcasts/substacks/etc (just more content) for scrolling wasn't addressing the actual problem.

I'll report back after 2 weeks and tell you if I actually got so much writing done by giving myself this time back or, what I'm afraid of discovering, if the problem goes even deeper.

Gosh, wouldn't it be so great to delete my accounts and never post another short-form video ever again? A girl can dream!