I've always loved horror movies. Before I was allowed to watch them, I'd wander the Horror aisle at my local Blockbuster and take a minute with each VHS cover, allowing myself to savor the titillating mix of curiosity and fear. When friends who hate horror movies ask me how I can sit through them, I explain that living vicariously through the characters and surviving terrifying scenarios is a balm for my anxiety.

Now, as a new mom to a son, I have a different experience when it comes to identifying with fictional characters.

I finally watched the much-hyped horror movie Obsession this past weekend. Before the premise kicked into gear (man is granted wish, and it goes badly like every fictional wish ever) I was already freaked out. The film's first 10 minutes introduce us to the protagonist: Bear, a scruffy, sheepish man in his early twenties. We get a glimpse into his home, his relationships, his inner life. What we see is bone-chilling. 

Bear lives in a home he inherited from his grandmother. It's clear from the outdated decor and dim lighting that he hasn't changed a thing about the place. He chooses to live alone in what is essentially a tomb. 

He has nursed a romantic fixation on his friend Nikki since high school. Now in their twenties, they spend almost every day together as co-workers and friends, but he's never shared his feelings with her. It's clear from the way he talks about this choice that he views his hesitation as reflecting how considerate and sensitive he is. He prides himself on not being pushy or aggressive. He's a Nice Guy! He doesn't do anything to hurt anyone! But that's because, uh, he doesn't do anything. His cowardice is on full display when Nikki gives him the most gentle and warm opening to share his feelings, and he STILL doesn't. Instead, he makes a doomed wish that she loved him "more than anyone in the world" and thus effectively enslaves her.

I intuit that, like all the Nice Guys I've encountered, Bear believes that simply by virtue of not being an abusive bully, he is entitled to infinite reward. His own personal Hollywood happy ending. Surely his decision to refrain from being an asshole means he deserves the life of his dreams?

The Nice Guy's entitlement is usually accompanied by a lack of responsibility for his feelings. If he finds himself disappointed with how long his dream life is taking to unfold, he views himself as a hapless victim of this sadness. Where did all these bad feelings come from? And, more importantly, who is going to help me with them? (In most cases, Nice Guys look to the closest attractive woman and think, "She'll cheer me up!")

Okay, so Bear isn't a real person. Why do I have so much vitriol about him?

It's not just that I've had my fair share of run-ins with Nice Guys in my day. It's that, as a quote unquote boy mom, I now see all male characters as omens. Beware, I think with a shudder as I watch, this what your delightful baby boy can turn into if you're not careful!

In a world where Vogue published an article asking Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now? and reels like this one

have gone viral, I feel like raising a son has never felt more high stakes. My son cannot be a Nice Guy. An embarrassing boyfriend. A mid loser manchild. A bad guy.

The specter of the bad boyfriend has loomed large in the books I've read over the last decade. Some of my favorite writing is women writers inflicting their protagonist with terrible male partners.

I think of A's boyfriend C in Alexandra Kleeman's You Too Can Have a Body Like Mine. Although he isn't explicitly rude or dismissive, all of his responses to A's concerns undermine her trust in herself. Ultimately, I think he, more than her copycat roommate B, pushes her to the edges of her sanity.

In Yesteryear, Caro Claire Burke gave her tradwife influencer protagonist Natalie a challenging husband.

In a LitHub interview, Burke explains:

Since one of Natalie’s main frustrations in her life (according to her) is that she has too many masculine traits, I thought it would be really fun to give her a husband who (again, according to her) has too many feminine ones. They both are people who don’t naturally or comfortably fit into the traditional gender stereotypes, and this is an issue that plagues them increasingly throughout the book. Poor Caleb just wanted to become a kindergarten teacher! My toxic trait is loving him.

I think Caleb's issues are more pernicious than gender non-conformity. He is spineless, allowing himself to be easily swayed and manipulated by anyone around him. His transformation into a domineering and abusive husband demonstrates how readily he adopts misogyny as a governing ideology.  

My Favorite Bad Boyfriend Award goes to the one in Ottessa Moshfegh's short story The Weirdos. He's not only condescending and immature, but also unnervingly strange: 

If I turned my back during breakfast he’d say, “I noticed you spilled some of your coffee, so I wiped it up for you.” If I didn’t thank him profusely, he’d put down his fork, ask, “Was that okay?” He was a child, really. He had childish ideas. He told me he “walked like a cop,” which scared off criminals on the street at night. “Why do you think I’ve never been mugged?” He made me laugh.

The narrator asserts "I hate my boyfriend" right before exhaustively detailing all of his peculiarities. She seems almost aroused by how repulsive she finds him and how unaware he is of her disdain.  

My fears about my son's future are not unusual. Content about how moms are shaping their sons to be good partners has become more and more popular.

I study these, taking my job to raise my son to be a vocal feminist capable of emotional regulation and domestic duties very seriously. 

The more energy I put into shaping my son, the more I remind myself of this other genre of content I see with increasing frequency. Perhaps you've seen it too: the viral trend "Because I didn't marry a loser." 

The brilliant Tracy Clark-Flory wrote about this phenomenon that she calls hetero-exceptionalism:

I’ve been thinking about this concept of hetero-exceptionalism.

I’m envisioning it as a variety of heteropessimism. It’s a perspective that recognizes that heteronormative love and sex can be punishing for women, while emphasizing exceptions (happy heteronormative relationships) that are attributed to men who are unicorns or women with discerning taste and romantic savvy. Crucially, it comes along with a sense of blame, specialness, and superiority, as opposed to solidarity.

It is part traditional romantic fairytale around The One and Prince Charming, and part neoliberal feminism with its focus on individually navigating systemic oppression (in other words: getting yours within patriarchy).

I’ve been thinking about this concept in part because I came across this from Moira Donegan:

Gotta love the new genre of tweet from millennial women that's like “I can't relate to all these divorce books because unlike you losers my husband is a perfect kindly angel who does all the housework.” As if patriarchy is merely a skill issue.

The genre of tweet that Donegan references is a perfect encapsulation of hetero-exceptionalism: it implicitly or explicitly paints women’s romantic and sexual unhappiness as a personal failure. That is the water in which we swim. So much hetero dating advice for women ultimately reads as instructions for personally navigating patriarchy.

So much of my concern and the concern I see in my fellow boy moms' reels is heteronormative. We're worried about how our sons will show up as a partner to a woman. What if my son is gay or asexual or aromantic?

Also, I recognize that I'm taking all the annoyance and frustration and disgust I feel towards Bear and other Nice Guys he reminds me of and channeling it into constructing my parenting approach. I shouldn't center my thirst for vengeance against toxic masculinity in my mothering journey…right? 

My biggest concern is I'm making the mistake Clark-Flory points out in her critique: focusing on an individualistic solution to a systemic problem. So I believe If I successfully complete my mission to raise my son to be a feminist and an ideal husband to a straight woman, I will have done my part in taking down the patriarchy?

As I've mulled this all over, a thought buzzes around in my skull that I can't swat away: 

Is having a child an inherently individualistic solution?

Becoming a mother has strengthened my desire to fight for justice in the world, to invest in my community, to be kinder and more empathetic to everyone I meet. But it has also sapped me of time and energy. Since giving birth, I have had to abandon everything I used to do that could potentially ask me to over-extend myself. I now pour all of my resources into one person. That's why it makes sense that my new primary mode of combatting misogyny would be mothering my son. However, I can't pretend that he alone could defeat the patriarchy. To believe this would be childish.

As I've puzzled over this, I've thought about one passage from the poem On Children by Kahlil Gibran:

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

(I highly recommend listening to Sweet Honey in the Rock's song of this poem.)

I appreciate this poem's lesson, and I want to surrender to its wisdom. But I don't know how I can stop myself from wanting to accompany my son to the world of tomorrow. Maybe it's a deluded grasp at immortality. Maybe it's a desperate bid at feeling like I have some control. Maybe I simply can't bear the idea of being parted from him. Installing in him a strong vein of feminism feels like the only guarantee that he will carry me with him always.

I am beyond excited to be sharing this announcement with you! I am bringing the community vibes of the You Can Sit with Us event page to my very first online BOOK CLUB!

I've enjoyed leading as well as being a member of a few different in-person book clubs over the last three years, but, as grad school demands more of my IRL hours, online has become the ideal setting for book yapping. The launch of my Bindery Books page could not have come at a better time.

What you can expect from YCSWU Book Club:

• Monthly book pick from one of my favorite genres (romance, fantasy, historical fiction). Most books will be newer releases, and genre will vary from month to month.

• Private Discord chat for book club members

• Monthly virtual book club meetings

So, without further ado, I give you the August pick for the You Can Sit with Us Book Club!

A Tangled Magic by Andrea Eames is described as:

"Rapunzel meets Six of Crows in this darkly imagined high fantasy for fans of T. Kingfisher’s Nettle & Bone, The Bone Shard Daughter by Andrea Stewart, Naomi Novik’s Uprooted, and Disney’s Tangled, as a woman with amnesia—and magical hair—searches for her lost memories while navigating a web of royal intrigue, bone magic, and secret monasteries.:Rapunzel meets Six of Crows in this darkly imagined high fantasy for fans of T. Kingfisher’s Nettle & Bone, The Bone Shard Daughter by Andrea Stewart, Naomi Novik’s Uprooted, and Disney’s Tangled, as a woman with amnesia—and magical hair—searches for her lost memories while navigating a web of royal intrigue, bone magic, and secret monasteries." (PRH)

Hop on over to Discord to join me for this month's read!

It’s officially been a full year since The Coterie began here on Bindery!! To celebrate, there will be two giveaway winners this month. They’ll be announced in the Discord on Sunday , August 2nd 🥳

It’s also time to vote on our next book club pick. You can read about each of the options below and vote in the poll attached to this post. Voting closes on Saturday, August 1st and the winning book will be posted on August 2nd!

The Dragon Has Some Complaints by John Wiswell (Cozy Fantasy)

Garrodigh was once a four-headed dragon, among the most powerful in Kardoša. After an unfortunate incident, he now has three heads, one stump, and a daily whirlwind of internal bickering. Centerhead wants to rain death upon all humanity, Bottomhead is like a feral cat, and Upperhead is under the delicate delusion that he is, in fact, human. 

When a nearby battle goes awry, Garrodigh sneaks into an elite dragon rider academy, pretending to be tame to get free food and a warm bed. Lucky for him, rider Rania Albright is desperate enough for a dragon of her own that she overlooks his eccentricities. 

As Garrodigh recovers under Rania’s care, all three heads start to turn, for the first time, in the same direction. Each wants to protect her from the invaders who killed their fourth head—the same invaders who seek to conquer Kardoša. When the academy comes under attack, can this wild dragon and his wilder rider save their homeland together?

The Eye of the Leviathan by M.A. Carrick (Historical Fiction Fantasy)

In an alternate Spanish Golden Age, the Council of the Sea Beyond has risen to unrivaled power, exploiting the Otherworld’s most precious resources for their own gain. Estevan seeks to uncover their secrets, but he risks the exposure of his that he is a faerie, masquerading as a mortal.

The Hungry Girl is the human whose place he took. Lost among the fae and desperate to find some purpose for her existence, she leaps at the chance to help a group of Spanish explorers in the Sea Beyond…only to be horrified at the atrocities they commit.

A faerie pact has separated them– but only together can they bring down Spain’s worlds-spanning empire and save the homes they have both come to love.

Gardens of the Moon by Steven Erikson (Epic Dark Fantasy)

The Malazan Empire simmers with discontent, bled dry by interminable warfare, bitter infighting and bloody confrontations with the formidable Anomander Rake and his Tiste Andii, ancient and implacable sorcerers. Even the imperial legions, long inured to the bloodshed, yearn for some respite. Yet Empress Laseen's rule remains absolute, enforced by her dread Claw assassins.

For Sergeant Whiskeyjack and his squad of Bridgeburners, and for Tattersail, surviving cadre mage of the Second Legion, the aftermath of the siege of Pale should have been a time to mourn the many dead. But Darujhistan, last of the Free Cities of Genabackis, yet holds out. It is to this ancient citadel that Laseen turns her predatory gaze.

However, it would appear that the Empire is not alone in this great game. Sinister, shadowbound forces are gathering as the gods themselves prepare to play their hand...

I’m so excited to share the cover for Cracks, by Kristy Park Kulski, the second book releasing from our imprint (4/27/27)

I am so in love with this cover! I’m sharing a little early, so please don’t share publicly until you see it on the Bindery Instagram! (And then share and repost, preorder!)

You can check out the very talented artist here:

https://www.instagram.com/nadiarausa?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Cracks is a gorgeous literary horror and I can’t wait for you all to read this! I would love to start off today with a bang and hit 100 preorders! Do you think we can do it?

https://bookshop.org/p/books/cracks-kristy-kulski/6a2cfef9ca5618c5?ean=9781967967452&bkshp-astro=t

Let me know your thoughts below

Hello my Bindery Babes, happy almost August! This summer is going by so fast!! As promised, I'm sharing Chapter 2 of Creative Differences by Annabel Paulsen & Lydia Wang with you in this post.

HAVE YOU PRE-ORDERED THE BOOK YET??? She's available at all major retailers!

This chapter is from the POV of Amelia, the character on the left side of the cover, and was written by Lydia. In the first chapter, we see Ramona's reaction to learning about Amelia agreeing to a Swanboat reunion tour. So what's Amelia's side of the story?

Remember, if you sign up for the Sapph-Lit Producer or BRAND NEW Literary Salon tier, you'll get a physical ARC of Creative Differences shipped to you! Sign up by 8/1 to receive that and our very first book box, which includes Mostly Dead Things by Kristen Arnett!

ENJOY CHAPTER 2!!!!! xoxo nina

***

CHAPTER 2

Los Angeles, CA

It almost always starts the same way: with a nervous, self-deprecating, “Um, excuse me, I’m so sorry.” After all, Mia Wells fans are nothing if not polite. And slightly anxious.

Amelia quickly thanks the barista who’s just handed her two iced lattes, and then turns around. The fan in question is clearly flustered; she must be around fourteen years old. She’s wearing colorful, sparkly eyeshadow and a faded T-shirt that could’ve cost ten dollars or two hundred—it’s hard to tell in this part of Los Angeles.

“Hi!” Amelia says. Her manager, Callie, has praised her more than once for her tone with fans: warm enough to be friendly, but quiet enough not to draw a scene. Amelia smiles, like this girl is just the person she was hoping to run into.

“My name’s Izzy. I’m just, like . . . I’m a huge fan,” she continues, staring at her pristine white sneakers. “I love your music. I heard you come to this coffee shop sometimes, but I didn’t—”

She’s interrupted by a deep, throaty, and very masculine, “That was a fucking gross bathroom.” Declan Ryder, the famed pseudo-dirtbag frontman of indie rock band American Spirit, grabs one of the two drinks before turning his attention to the fan. “Who’s this?”

“Um, I’m Izzy,” the girl says, her eyes bouncing between Amelia and Declan. “I was just telling Mia Wells—I’m sorry, I mean, Mia—can I call you Mia?—I’m such a fan—‘Years from Now’ was the top song on my Spotify Wrapped.”

“Oh! That means so much to me,” Amelia says, putting her free hand over her heart. “And that’s a pretty deep cut too.”

Izzy’s flush grows deeper. “I mean, I loved the whole album.”

Amelia’s about to respond, but Declan beats her to it. “That’s sweet,” he says. His tone is kind and breezy, like he wasn’t just disparaging Blue Bottle’s restroom twenty seconds ago.

“This is Declan,” Amelia says. She usually wouldn’t introduce him to a fan, but now that he’s an active part of the conversation, it somehow feels awkward not to acknowledge him.

Declan lets out a low laugh. “You don’t have to do that, Mia. I think she knows who I am,” he says, lightly elbowing Amelia.

“Oh, of course,” Izzy says, looking affronted. “Declan Ryder. You’re Mia Wells’s boyfriend.”

Amelia internally winces. He probably would’ve preferred Declan Ryder of the MTV VMA-nominated band American Spirit. Or Declan Ryder, whose impeccable bone structure and indie-sleaze-revival fashion sense have inspired thousands of horny fancams. Even Declan Ryder, also a singer probably would have sufficed.

He’s just never liked the “boyfriend” label. In fact, “I just don’t like the ‘boyfriend’ label” is one of several reasons he and Amelia aren’t in an official relationship, despite dating on and off for seven years.

“Mia, we should . . .” Declan nods toward the door. “It was great to meet you, though.”

“Wait!” Izzy’s voice gets somewhat louder. “Can you . . . do you mind taking a picture?”

She hands her iPhone to Declan before he can respond, and now Amelia’s actually wincing. For years, Declan was the one fans recognized. Women frothed at the mouth when he smiled back at them; people asked him to scrawl lyrics on napkins for tattoos, even though his handwriting has always been totally illegible. Scrawny, unshowered men approached him at bars for advice on how to “make it.”

Amelia has always had fans, too, but for a long time, they were quieter. Young queer people liked her, especially bi girls who loved that she got her start in a queer band and also had a rumored relationship with an indie male heartthrob, all the while writing songs about love interests of all genders. And Amelia’s music has always been revered by critics, industry professionals, and music snobs online, even back in her Swanboat days. But she wasn’t approached. She didn’t automatically answer to “Um, excuse me, I’m so sorry” as if someone had specifically called her name.

And then, last year, Amelia dropped her second solo record, Love Languages. Now, she gets approached, and Declan’s still getting used to taking blurry iPhone photos.

Five minutes later, she’s in the passenger seat of her not-boyfriend’s car, tapping her foot along to a Father John Misty song from Declan’s latest playlist. Amelia forces herself to keep staring out at the congested LA traffic, even though part of her itches to turn to face Declan. She wants to tell him about a stupid video she watched last night that sent her down a ridiculous internet rabbit hole, talk about how their mutual friends are doing, argue over whose Spotify mix to play.

Any of those conversation topics, of course, would be a nonstarter. Declan thinks TikTok is stupid, and they don’t have any kind of shared friend group to discuss. As for their car ride soundtrack—well, Declan’s a firm believer in the “my car, my music” rule.

It’s not like they have nothing to discuss. Amelia’s known Declan since they were both nineteen, and he’s always down to complain about systemic issues in the industry, vent about the charts, or bounce around rollout ideas for a new single. In that way, he’s been a consistent and comforting presence in her life, even when their relationship—or lack thereof—is neither of those things.

But lately, more than ever, their moments alone have felt . . . silent. Tense.

Amelia drums her fingertips against the lid of her latte, trying not to feel a little depressed. We’ve both just been busy, she tells herself, and she knows it’s true: Her star seemingly won’t stop rising, and Declan’s been gearing up for a nationwide tour. Still, Amelia catches herself wishing that she had the kind of relationship where thirty minutes of traffic meant thirty blissful minutes of talking and debating and laughing with someone before they dropped her off at her house and smiled into a goodbye kiss.

It’s a laughably unrealistic thing to want. She knows that. As a touring artist who spends more time on the road and in the studio than at her own house, Amelia doesn’t have the time for a traditional romantic relationship, which is why her situation with Declan is perfect. And besides, she knows better than to initiate any kind of conversation right now; encounters with Amelia’s fans put Declan on edge, and she can tell the traffic is only making him testier. His jaw is tight, and he hasn’t looked at her once.

“So, I was thinking about the tour,” Declan finally says as the song fades out. “And how, you know, you were saying how much you’ll miss me.”

For a split second, Amelia expects him to ask for “freedom” while he’s on the road. It wouldn’t be the first time their relationship switched to “off” as one of them focused on their career.

But then, he punctuates the statement with a little smirk. “What if you came with?”

“Came on tour?” Amelia repeats.

“Yeah.” Declan shrugs. “You finished touring Love Languages a while ago now, and I know your summer’s clear. So, why not? You could come out and play a song with me at each show. It would be fucking awesome, right? Your fans love us together.”

There’s a very big, very hypothetical, Swanboat-shaped reason her summer schedule is clear. Amelia’s throat goes dry.

All she can manage now is, “What song?”

He smirks again. “I was thinking ‘She’s All That.’”

Much like Declan himself, American Spirit’s songs aren’t romantic, exactly—they’re about consumerism, ironic masculinity, the commitment issues he inherited from his parents. He sings about drugs, too, even though Declan’s been straight -edge since Amelia first met him back in college. “She’s All That” is one of the rare songs that’s ostensibly about Amelia, but Amelia’s always secretly hated it, mostly because there’s a crude line about the subject’s blow-job prowess in the (admittedly catchy) chorus.

“I don’t know what to say,” Amelia musters. “I mean, I’m really honored that you want me there.”

He takes off his sunglasses, squinting in the sunlight. “This would be really great for me, Mia. You’re having such a moment right now, you know?”

It probably isn’t meant to be an insult; Amelia knows that. Besides, she is having a moment—she has the Spotify stats to back it up. But still, that specific compliment makes her heart sink to her stomach, every time. If Amelia learned anything from Swanboat, it’s that moments always pass.

“I don’t think you need me to help you, though,” Amelia says, trying to buy some time. “You have so many fans. Your tour’s sold out.”

“Well, obviously.” Declan grins as he rolls his eyes. “But I don’t have the Wellies.”

Amelia automatically smiles at the name, even though Declan says it as if he were making fun of a deranged cult. She’s not sure when her fans gave themselves the nickname, but she’s always found it cute. “Listen, Dec. I’d love to come,” she says. “But maybe . . . maybe just for the hometown shows, here in LA? It’s just a little last minute to plan everything, and I’m still doing a lot of press for the album, and—”

She takes a breath to look over at Declan, who’s glaring down at his phone.

“What is it?” she asks, hating the way her voice starts to shake.

“And you’re already going on tour,” he deadpans. “Is that what you were going to say?”

Amelia blanches. “I don’t—”

Declan tosses the phone to her. The traffic lets up, and he drives on as she reads the Rolling Stone headline. “Sad Girls, Get Ready: Five Years After Their Split, a Swanboat Reunion Tour Might Be Happening.”

Fuck. “Okay, this is totally—where did they hear this?” Amelia sputters.

But she just has to scroll down a few paragraphs to find her answer: an embedded Instagram post from Bea. It’s an old, very unflattering photo of the three of them—well, of two out of three of them. Ramona, as usual, looks inaccessibly cool, gazing right at the camera and wearing a cropped tank top that shows off her many tattoos. But Bea’s head is tilted back, and they’re laughing so hard, you can see up their nostrils. Amelia, meanwhile, is wearing no makeup and an old, visibly stained T-shirt, and she’s staring right at Ramona, a shy, small smile on her face that makes current-day Amelia blush.

The photo is captioned, Planning something special . . .

Theoretically, the post could mean anything. But in classic Bea fashion, they immediately responded to a fan comment with MAYBE I’m talking about a tour. . . .

Damn it.

“I just agreed to a few shows,” Amelia promises. “Nothing big.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me?” Declan looks somewhere between pissed and hurt.

“It wasn’t even a sure thing yet,” she says, and it’s the truth. The reunion tour—which really was billed to her as just a few shows—was her label’s idea. They claimed it could help Amelia “keep up the Love Languages momentum this summer,” which felt like an extremely polite way of saying “keep Amelia in the zeitgeist while she struggles to write her third album.”

Even though Amelia generally overthinks everything, she agreed to this idea pretty quickly. Aside from the fact that saying yes would help her buy some time and look agreeable to a lot of very important people, she couldn’t bring herself to be the one to say no.

She may have briefly thought about the possibility of performing with Swanboat again—wondered if it would be a complete disaster, ruminated over what she’d say and how it would go—but she tried to write away her anxieties, figuring there wasn’t a chance in hell her label could pull off a surprise reunion tour.

After all, they’d have to get Ramona on board.

And Ramona fucking hates her guts.

“I was going to tell you,” Amelia says. “Besides, I figured that even if Interscope could make it happen, it wouldn’t really matter. The shows would overlap with your tour, so it’s not like we’d be seeing each other anyway. . . .” She keeps babbling, but her mind is racing. If Bea posted about the tour, does that mean Ramona agreed to it?

Declan, meanwhile, stares straight ahead as he drives, and Amelia feels a knot of guilt. He might not be her boyfriend, but he’s still the closest thing she has to a friend, unless you count her manager or publicist. At this point, many of Amelia’s college friendships have fizzled into acquaintanceships, and she definitely doesn’t have anyone from before that. She hasn’t even talked to her own parents in months.

If only for that reason, the idea of genuinely hurting him makes her feel like she’s swallowed a boxful of rocks. “I’m sorry,” she finally says, earnestly. “I should have told you.”

He just nods, still focusing on the highway.

Amelia wishes she could reach for her own phone, although she’s not sure what she would do. Text Bea, maybe, and ask why the hell they’d announce the tour before sending a heads-up to the defunct Swanboat group chat. Or she could message her team, start planning an official announcement of her own. A part of her—one that’s bigger than it should be, really—wants to message Ramona, if only to clear the air before they officially start touring together again. She’s chatted with Bea here and there, of course, and they usually try to meet up at least once a year. But she hasn’t seen Ramona since the last night of their last tour—their only tour. They stopped talking pretty immediately after that.

“Maybe you can still come to some of my shows. Like if we’re both in the Midwest at the same time, or something,” Declan says. Any trace of visible hurt is gone, replaced with a sour smirk. “I’m probably playing bigger venues, anyway. Our last album was huge, and Swanboat was always more niche.”

In a way, he’s not wrong. Swanboat had a smaller, more cult-like following, and they were never signed to a label. As a result, their tour was an intimate one, planned by a tour manager who just so happened to be a fellow Emerson student and friend of Bea’s. They crashed on acquaintances’ couches and dined at cheap pizza joints until, toward the end of the tour, they made the luxurious switch to budget hotels. They were scrappy, independent. Underdogs. That’s never exactly been Declan.

But what Declan doesn’t acknowledge is that things are different now. The fact that the trio abruptly disintegrated right on the precipice of a major record deal—and the fact that all three immediately went on to build very different solo careers—became a common talking point among music geeks, and definitely among Amelia’s fanbase. And over the past couple of years, as more queer fans have discovered Amelia, Swanboat’s streaming numbers have kept growing too.

“Mia?” Declan prompts.

“Yeah. I’d love to,” she says, forcing a smile. “I mean, if we happen to be in the same place at the same time. That could be great.”

At that, Declan reaches over and squeezes her arm—the briefest of gestures. “Damn. Swanboat,” he says. “I didn’t even know you still kept in touch with those guys.” Before Amelia can respond, Alex G fades into the Strokes, Declan turns the volume up, and the conversation’s over.

***

Once Amelia’s home—freshly changed into a Fleetwood Mac T-shirt and athletic shorts, with her hair pulled back into a high ponytail—she thinks about calling Bea. Instead, she calls her manager.

“I’m so sorry,” Callie says in lieu of a greeting. “Beatrix shouldn’t have announced that on Instagram.”

“Technically, they didn’t announce it,” Amelia says weakly. It’s almost funny: The tour hasn’t even started yet, and she’s already falling back into the habit of smoothing things over, defending Bea’s messy antics. “So . . . this is actually happening?”

“Ramona agreed yesterday,” Callie answers. Apparently, Amelia’s question wasn’t as subtle as she thought.

Amelia’s stomach lurches. She has about a million more questions, mostly ones that begin with “why,” but she knows Callie doesn’t have any insight into Ramona’s thought process. “And it’s just a few shows?”

She lets out a whoosh of a breath before answering, then mutters something Amelia can’t make out.

“I’m sorry?”

“They want to add more dates,” Callie says. “Two months, thirteen cities. The booking agency thinks they can sell it out in days.” When Amelia doesn’t answer, she adds, “This was always a possibility, Mia. There’s a reason we kept your schedule clear.”

Amelia nods, even though Callie can’t see her. She can handle two months on the road with Beatrix, even though their once-close friendship has devolved into “happy birthday” texts, Instagram comments, and the occasional drink whenever Bea happens to make it to California.

But then she thinks of Ramona, and her hands start to itch. Ramona, whose pouty smirk used to turn into a real smile, probably against her will, whenever Amelia complimented one of her lyrics. Ramona, who once insisted on turning their whole van around and driving an extra hour because Amelia accidentally left her lucky charm bracelet at a diner somewhere near San Francisco, and they couldn’t get a hostess on the phone. Ramona, who used to look so focused and intense during their performances that Amelia’s heart would literally start somersaulting during shows. How the hell will she be able to handle two months with her?

No, Amelia immediately corrects herself. Two months without Declan. She feels so horrible about Declan’s taking a back seat in her brain, in fact, that she blurts out, “Would I be able to do a couple of shows with American Spirit? If we happen to be in the same city?”

She can practically see Callie’s eyes grow wider in shock. “Oh, um—really?”

Amelia bites her lip. Callie knows about her whole thing with Declan, obviously. Her label and PR team approve: Every time she’s sneakily photographed with Declan at a coffee shop, they both get a burst of buzz, and their fans love dissecting her lyrics for clues about their relationship. But Amelia’s always gotten the sense that while Callie loves all of her songs about tortured romance and situationships, she’s less ecstatic about Declan himself, whose cocky asshole schtick isn’t always just a schtick.

“If you want that in the contract, we can talk about it,” Callie continues after taking a beat. “But frankly, Amelia, people are excited about you. And Swanboat. It’s sweet that you want to do a favor for your boyfriend, but—”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Amelia interrupts. It’s automatic. It’s a disclaimer, really, one Callie has heard a million times.

“Fine. It’s nice you want to help out a beloved friend,” Callie says, like she’s talking to a sensitive toddler. “But I care about you, Amelia, and your career, and your fans. Sometimes you have to put yourself first.”

“Just if we happen to be in the same place. That’s all I meant,” Amelia says, wishing she hadn’t brought this up. The last thing she wants is to look like the kind of girl who cares more about a guy than her own music. “I just told him I’d ask.”

Once again, she can envision the exact look on Callie’s face, the pity in her eyes. “You can tell him—I mean, you can tell the band—that we’ll try to work something out. And, Mia?”

“Yeah?” Amelia sits down on her green velvet couch and curls her legs under her butt, mentally preparing for whatever’s about to come next.

“This is important,” Callie says after a pause that’s slightly too long for Amelia’s liking. “I don’t want to rush you, or stress you out, but—”

“I know,” Amelia interrupts, sparing Callie from having to finish her sentence. “I need to stay focused.”

Once Amelia wrapped the Love Languages tour, the hints began. Now, several months later, they’ve started to feel less like hints. Her publicity team’s emails have become more blunt, while Callie’s questions about demos have gotten less tepid. Phone calls that once began, “The label is just curious,” have slowly morphed into ones that include the caveat “I really don’t want to put more pressure on you, but . . .”

Amelia knows she should have her next album underway, or at least a vision for it. In the past, she’s never struggled with writer’s block—but in the past, she’s never had to one-up an album that somehow became a massive success. These days, she’s found herself dodging questions from journalists and writing off every seed of an idea as not good enough. Once upon a time, she used to be able to write down a single lyric and then stare at her notebook until an entire song seemed to form around it; now, she’ll write down a metaphor and just imagine dozens of social media posts about how disappointing Mia Wells’s music is these days. Sometimes she finds herself avoiding her guitar, like the instrument itself is judging her.

“We need to give the label an update by the end of the summer, Mia,” Callie says. “I know you’ve been stuck, but maybe this tour will inspire you. You’re going back to your roots, revisiting the first real songs you ever wrote. . . .” She tapers off.

“No, you’re right. This will be good for me,” Amelia responds, unsure whether she’s manifesting a best-case scenario outcome or outright lying. “And I’ll come back with a plan for album three, no problem.”

“You’re sure?” Amelia can hear the skepticism in Callie’s tone.

“Of course. It’s why I’m doing this,” she stresses. “Well, that and the fans, of course. If people are excited . . . that’s what I care about.”

“They’re so excited, Amelia,” Callie says, her voice low and conspiratorial. “So on this note, now that we’re official, there’s a lot we should discuss. Social media strategy, some solo press ops—and you’ll be doing press as a trio, too, of course. . . .”

“Hang on,” Amelia says, jumping up from her seat. “Let me take some notes.”

“That’s my girl,” Callie says, and Amelia can feel it: The conversation’s back on solid ground. Touring, planning, engaging with fans . . . it’s what she does. As she jots down notes about local publications and scheduling, she can feel everything else in her brain—from Declan to Ramona to the looming, omnipresent fear that her moment is just a moment—turning quieter and quieter, until it’s nothing but background music.

Looking for your next emotional romance with unforgettable characters and authentic first responder representation? You're going to want to meet K.T. Lee, author of All of It Was for You.

In this month's Book Club Conversations, we sat down with K.T. Lee to discuss the inspiration behind her heartfelt novel, the real-life experiences that shaped Lauren and Grant's story, the books that made her a reader, and some fun rapid-fire facts every book lover will enjoy.

❤️ Writing a Love Story Unlike Any Other

When asked what inspired All of It Was for You, K.T. shared that she wanted to write the kind of book she had never seen on bookstore shelves.

Instead of revisiting familiar romance plots, she created a story centered on a paramedic and a veteran police officer, blending authentic first responder experiences with an emotional journey of love, resilience, and heartbreak.

🚑 Bringing First Responders to Life

One of the things that makes All of It Was for You feel so authentic is K.T.'s own background.

She has spent nearly nine years working in emergency medical services and three years as a 911 dispatcher, drawing inspiration from real calls and experiences to create believable, emotionally charged scenes throughout the novel.

📖 Three Words That Describe Her Books

When asked to sum up her writing in only three words, K.T.'s answer was simple:

• Devastating

• Raw

• Emotional

If you love stories that make you laugh, cry, and think long after you've finished reading, this one should definitely be on your radar.

🌹 The Book That Started It All

Like so many readers, K.T.'s love of books began with a childhood classic.

She credits Beauty and the Beast as the story that first made her fall in love with reading, sharing a touching memory of her grandmother reading it to her while sitting on a bench swing overlooking the garden.

It's a memory she says ultimately inspired her own journey as an author.

🔍 Mystery Reader at Heart

Although she writes emotional contemporary fiction, K.T. admits she's a thriller reader through and through.

Some of her favorite mystery elements include:

• Police and detective procedurals

• Small-town murders

• Missing person survival stories

• Unreliable clues

She's also an auto-buy reader for authors like Jeneva Rose, Lucinda Berry, and Frieda McFadden.

😂 Reality TV Chaos

If Lauren, Grant, and Sloane ever landed on reality television?

K.T. says they'd fit perfectly on Impractical Jokers.

Grant would struggle through every challenge, Lauren would keep a straight face (until she couldn't), and Sloane would absolutely do whatever it took to win.

💙 A Few Fun Facts About K.T. Lee

• 🚑 Paramedic with nearly a decade of EMS experience

• 📍 Originally from Michigan's Upper Peninsula and now calls Wisconsin home

• 🐈 Proud cat mom to Expresso, Hazel, and foster cat Fox

• ✈️ Dreams of traveling the world

• 🎓 Hopes to earn a Master's in Social Work and become a counselor

• 🪂 Once went skydiving

• 🏐 Huge LOVB Madison volleyball fan

• 📚 Loves thrillers and mysteries

📖 Want the Full Conversation?

This is just a preview! The First Editions members can read the complete exclusive interview, where K.T. Lee talks about:

• Her writing process

• Plotting versus writing by instinct

• The emotional themes behind All of It Was for You

• The scene that surprised even her while writing

• Her dream writing routine

• Her favorite music while drafting

• What's currently on her TBR

• Her hilarious "author warning label"

• A heartfelt message to readers before they open Lauren and Grant's story

If you're ready to go beyond the books and get to know the authors behind them, The First Editions is where the full conversation awaits.

Happy reading!

— The Page Ladies Book Club

Some stories entertain you. Others leave a permanent mark on your heart.

Today, we're thrilled to welcome K.T. Lee to The Page Ladies Book Club for a heartfelt Book Club Conversation celebrating the release of All of It Was for You.

If you love emotional contemporary romance, deeply flawed but unforgettable characters, first responder stories, and books that aren't afraid to tackle life's hardest moments, you're going to want this one on your radar.

We chatted with K.T. about the inspiration behind Lauren and Grant's unforgettable journey, her real-life experience in emergency medical services, favorite thrillers, writing habits, reality TV chaos, and much more.

Let's dive in!

Meet K.T. Lee

K.T. Lee is a Wisconsin-based author and paramedic whose stories blend raw emotion with authentic real-life experiences. Drawing from nearly a decade in emergency medical services, she creates characters who feel incredibly real while exploring love, resilience, grief, and hope.

When she isn't writing, you'll likely find her curled up with one of her three cats, reading a thriller, enjoying her favorite coffee shop, or planning her next adventure.

The Debut Spark

Q: Your upcoming release, All of It Was for You, sounds incredibly emotional and intense! What was the spark that made you realize Lauren and Grant's story was the one you needed to tell next?

K.T. Lee:

I wanted to write a book that I've never seen on a shelf before. I can't say how many times I've picked up a book and went, "Yep, I have three of this same exact plot on my bookshelf at home right now," and put it down. I've never read a paramedic × police officer story, so I thought I'd make one!

First Responders & Real Heroes

Q: Lauren is a dedicated paramedic, and Grant is a veteran police officer. What kind of research or personal inspiration helped bring these professions to life?

K.T. Lee:

I've been in emergency medical services (EMS) for going on nine years this summer, as well as a 911 dispatcher for three years. A lot of the calls I wrote about are personal experience, or elements of them have been extracted from those calls and dramatized.

Describe Your Books in Three Words

Q: For readers discovering your work for the first time, how would you describe your books in just three words?

K.T. Lee:

Devastating. Raw. Emotional.

Honestly...those three words tell you everything you need to know before opening the first page.

The Book That Started It All

Q: What was the very first book that made you fall in love with reading?

K.T. Lee:

Beauty and the Beast. Still love it to this day.

One of my fondest memories of my grandma is sitting on her bench swing by her garden as she read Beauty and the Beast to me. She is the reason I wrote this, so I owe this book all to her.

A Book Worth Reading Again for the First Time

Q: If you could erase your memory of one book and experience it again, what would it be?

K.T. Lee:

The Stillhouse Lake Series specifically book one. I'm a thriller and mystery reader at my core.

Auto-Buy Books

Q: Which tropes instantly convince you to buy a book?

K.T. Lee:

I gravitate toward mystery and thriller novels, so I love police procedurals, small-town murders, unreliable clues, and missing person survival stories.

Truthfully, though, I'm more of an auto-buy reader for authors than tropes.

Favorite auto-buy authors include:

• Jeneva Rose

• Frieda McFadden

• Lucinda Berry

Reality TV Chaos

Q: If Lauren, Grant, and Sloane had to compete on a reality show, which one would it be?

K.T. Lee:

Impractical Jokers.

Grant would hate saying ridiculous things to strangers.

Lauren could keep a straight face...up to a point.

Sloane is absolutely feral and would do whatever it takes to win.

Sloane would definitely be crowned champion.

Plotter or Pantser?

Q: Do you carefully outline your books, or discover the story as you write?

K.T. Lee:

A little of both. I know where I want the story to go, but I don't completely outline the timeline. I let it unfold naturally.

When Characters Surprise Their Author

Q: Have your characters ever completely surprised you?

K.T. Lee:

Lauren has one moment near the end of the book where she does something to Grant that even surprised me while writing it.

She goes much further than I expected trying to prove a point, but it became one of my favorite scenes because it completely pulls the rug out from under readers.

Balancing Heartbreak with Hope

Q: Your novel explores infertility, declining health, and a struggling marriage. How do you balance those heavy themes with hope?

K.T. Lee:

I'm a big believer that adversity is not our definition.

I also use dark humor quite a bit, and Sloane helps bring some much-needed comedic relief throughout the story.

The Soundtrack of All of It Was for You

Q: If this book had one official theme song, what would it be?

K.T. Lee:

"Someone To You" by Matt Hansen.

The lyric, "How do I move on from all that I knew?" perfectly captures Lauren and Grant's journey.

Favorite Part of Writing

Q: Which part of writing do you love most and which makes you want to pull your hair out?

K.T. Lee:

I love shaping my characters into who they're going to become.

Formatting? Zero out of ten.

I probably spent more time choosing fonts than editing.

A Day in the Life of K.T. Lee

Q: What does your perfect writing day look like?

K.T. Lee:

I love writing in my favorite coffee shop with headphones on and my music turned up.

Since I work night shift, I'm definitely a night owl.

A lot of my writing also happens in bed while cuddling one of my three cats.

Currently Reading

Q: What's next on your TBR?

K.T. Lee:

Judge Stone by Viola Davis and James Patterson.

I'm also excited to dive into two Lucinda Berry books waiting on my Kindle.

If Writing Came with a Warning Label...

Q: What would yours say?

K.T. Lee:

Warning: Author may spend three hours choosing fonts while several plot holes still need fixing.

We felt that one.

A Message for Readers

Q: What do you hope readers feel after finishing All of It Was for You?

K.T. Lee:

I hope you fall in love with Lauren and Grant as much as I did.

They are two incredible characters, and I can't wait for you to meet them.

Rapid Fire Fun Facts

Favorite Artist: Alex Warren

Favorite Bands: Walk Off the Earth & OneRepublic

Dream Goals:

• Travel as much as possible

• Earn a Master's in Social Work

• Become a counselor

Craziest Thing She's Done:

• Skydiving

Favorite State Visited:

• Tennessee

Originally From:

• Michigan's Upper Peninsula

Now Calls Home:

• Wisconsin (for nearly ten years)

Furry Writing Assistants:

• Expresso

• Hazel

• Foster cat Fox

Sports Fan Of:

• Green Bay Packers

• Wisconsin Badgers

• Milwaukee Brewers

• LOVB Madison Volleyball

Favorite Family Title:

• Proud aunt to four nieces and one nephew

Where to Find K.T. Lee

Instagram & Threads
@authorktlee

Goodreads Author
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/70677061.K_T_Lee

Goodreads Book Page
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/252920625

Amazon
https://a.co/d/045dGKNY

IngramSpark
https://shop.ingramspark.com/b/084?params=W30SsRe5sUGv5oV2Sut1D37q6y1x9ORKn36hUOPuwJc

Final Thoughts

One of our favorite parts of this conversation was hearing how much of All of It Was for You is rooted in authentic experience. K.T. Lee's years as a paramedic and dispatcher shine through in the realism of her characters, while her commitment to telling a story unlike anything currently on bookstore shelves makes this debut especially compelling.

If you're looking for a romance that isn't afraid to explore life's hardest moments while reminding readers that hope can still survive heartbreak, Lauren and Grant's story deserves a place on your reading list.

A huge thank you to K.T. Lee for spending time with us at The Page Ladies Book Club. We can't wait to see readers experience All of It Was for You and fall in love with these unforgettable characters.

Have you ever read a romance featuring first responders? Or is All of It Was for You going to be your first? Let us know in the comments we'd love to hear your recommendations!

I thought my August most anticipated list would be short given how big September is for publishing, but there are still quite a few releases I have my eye on. Here are the ones I'm most excited about.

Immortal Game by Alison Saft (8/4) - Six years ago, Shea Fury’s sister was whisked away by the High King of the Otherworld, the ruler of the treacherous land of fae. Although Shea has spent the years since dreaming of rescuing her sister from captivity, the Iron Veil that separates the human world from that of the fae has made it only a wish. That is, until an invitation to participate in a once-in-a-lifetime chess tournament in the Otherworld arrives on Shea’s doorstep. The winner of the tournament may ask the High King to grant one wish, and Shea is finally within reach of hers.

Meet Me In The Garden by Nina LaCour (8/4) - New Orleans, 1944. Odette has always been one of the Honore sisters, glamorous and admired in their Creole community. But while Odette’s older sisters are content to be wives and mothers, Odette has always wanted something else. It is only with her beloved cousin, Delphine, that Odette can tell her secret: she is in love with a woman, and she longs to be an artist. Delphine has a secret lover, too, a white man. In the hidden garden they’ve discovered, Odette and Delphine can dream of futures full of passion and freedom.

A Plagued Sea by Kim Bo-Young, translated by Sophie Bowman (8/11) - While waiting for a train to Haewon, an isolated Korean seaside village, bodyguard Mu-young gets a disaster alert on her phone. TVs throughout the station report breaking news of a massive earthquake on the eastern coast. Despite the danger, Mu-young boards the train with her niece: she’d rather face the earthquake than leave the girl in her mother’s care. That choice haunts her for the rest of her life. (This novella was published in 2020 and is now translated into English.)

The Everest Mystery: Sandy Irvine, George Mallory, and the Truth Still Buried on Everest by Julie Summers with Jochen Hemmleb (8/25) - There is no mystery more compelling in the history of mountaineering than the disappearance of George Mallory and Sandy Irvine close to the summit of Mount Everest on June 8, 1924. Over 100 years after they were last seen ‘going strong for the top,’ the question of exactly what happened to them on that fateful day has not been answered.

Hello nerds,

I wanted to send over one more reminder about our author event this Thursday, July 30th at Sunny's at 6:00 PM.

Join us for an author event with L.L. Madrid, a Tucson novelist, to discuss her book My Lips, Her Voice. My Lips, Her Voice is a possession murder mystery with a haunted sapphic love triangle at its heart. L.L. will be reading from her novel, discussing her work with CJ, and books will be for sale to be signed by the author. This is a FREE event to attend, but we ask that you RSVP here so we have a good headcount and can prepare the space.

L.L. is coming all the way from Tucson to be here and every seat that's filled tells visiting authors that Yuma shows up for book culture. That's the reputation we're building, one event at a time, and it happens because of who's in the room. Come be part of it, and bring someone who'd love it too! Feel free to send this to anyone you think would be interested in attending.

About the book:

Copper City’s bloody history is steeped in ghost stories and whispers of serial killers, but three girls have caught the attention of something far more sinister.

A grandmother tormented by visions tried to warn the town, but no one listened. Now, a haunted inheritance has passed to her granddaughters, Audrey and Mara. When Mara’s body is discovered in the old mine, Audrey fears her grandmother’s premonition is manifesting.

The nightmare begins as Mara’s spirit returns—lurking under Audrey’s skin, hellbent on vengeance and desperate to rekindle things with her former girlfriend, Zadie. Willing to hijack Audrey’s body to get what she wants, Mara drags them both into a deadly pursuit.

When another girl in town goes missing, Audrey, Mara, and Zadie know the killer has struck again. In a fight to solve Mara’s death and uncover the mystery of disappearances in Copper City, the girls soon find themselves at war with each other. How do you survive long enough to hunt a murderer on the loose if the person inside you might kill you first?

About the author:

L.L. Madrid lives in Tucson, where she writes dark, moody stories about misfits. L.L. is the 2021 recipient of the HWA’s Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley Scholarship. She is a member of the Bi+ Book Gang, a Pitch Wars alum, and an Odyssey grad. Her short stories are scattered across the internet. My Lips, Her Voice is her debut novel.

Not many people know the "lore" of Ink & Ether. Even fewer know what the turning point was that made me go from thinking about it, to doing it.

Walk with me back to 2025.

So I had lost my corporate job about a year after having my son. I had spent a year sending out resumes, applying for everything I could find, and I couldn't even get an interview for Walmart. I was working part-time at my local coffee shop and I was actually loving it. I had purpose, people cared about what I was doing and so did I. But part-time at an indie coffee shop leaves room for improvement financially.

One night after my son was asleep, my husband and I chatted before we inevitably dozed. I expressed my concern about finances and what it meant in the long run for our family. Ever the optimist my husband said I should do my own thing. Like a bookstore or something.

My internal critic immediately reacted I don't know anything about running a bookstore.

My husband is rarely dissuaded by my pessimism and this moment was no exception. But you like books and you read all the time. Such a generous observation, considering I'd rarely had time to brush my hair since having my son, let alone read a novel.

But he did make one good point.

Books and reading were one of the few constants in my life. Of all the hobbies that fell by the wayside throughout the years, books remained. Maybe I really should try to make a career out of something that meant that much to me. I know I could never get tired of reading. It's literally the dream to read all day, every day.

I gave myself a moment to allow the dream. What would I call it? Wouldn't it be cool if it was next door to the coffee shop? It would need to be something I could wholeheartedly enjoy being in every day. There are so many romance-only bookstores now, I can't do the same thing. How could I make something more me?

That was the moment it came to me, a fantasy bookstore, a pop-up to start out because funds were limited. A store with a backstory. Something fantasy worthy.

This is the story that motivated me that night and every day since. A story that needed to be brought to fruition and not allowed to fade by the light of day.

The Lore

There is a place where stories are kept safe—not lost, but guarded.

Ink & Ether is not located on any map, nor bound by bricks or borders. It exists between the folds of time and space, tucked in the breath between turning pages and fading dreams.

Some say it was created by a circle of bookwitches and scholar-priestesses—keepers of memory who refused to let the sacred voices of women be silenced. Others whisper that the shop found them, gathering seekers and scribes who could hear the call in their bones.

The storefront appears only to those who need it: a flicker in a foggy alley, a tent at twilight, a shadow between shelves at a market. It travels not by road, but by resonance—drawn to the curious, the quiet, the ones who listen.

Within its shelves lie tomes of power: cursed romances, whispered rebellions, folktales shaped like spells. Some books are new. Some are old enough to remember you. All are waiting.

Ink & Ether is not a business. It is a repository for the quietly enchanted, for those who seek truth, transformation, or simply a beautiful sentence to carry in their pocket like a charm.

You didn’t stumble upon us. You were summoned.

hi besties! i'm working on editing my youtube video for this weekend and thought i'd share some behind the scenes photos!! (daisy is helping, obviously)

i love filming library vlogs, it's fun to go to the library with a goal in mind, browse the shelves, and romanticize the relaxing environment. i used to drag my husband along with me on my library trips, and now i take you teehee

can't wait to share this one on saturday!

Hello All,

SNAIL MAIL CLUB IS BACK IN BUSINESS, baby! (Who can help me think of a cuter name)

Updates:

$5 members will continue to get mail August, October and December.

Beginning in October, Snail Mail Club will be moving to a monthly benefit for

$12 and $25 members only. ($25 slightly fancier, more handwritten items)

You must opt in each month in the sign up form, which you will receive as a Bindery email. If you do not opt in by the deadline, you will not receive the mail. You must be a paid member to receive benefits.

For August paid members.

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdkaphYu-7JS2FZUYyr4WeS4yNiw05-8fEKdjeU6QtAUz0ePw/viewform?usp=publish-editor

FORM MUST BE FILLED OUT BY Saturday, August 1 at 4pm PST.

$5 members will receive mail from me

$12 members will receive mail + a few extras

$25 members will receive mail + a few extras (fancy pants)

All $12 and $25 members will receive a copy of this print, an art design by our very talented author (and artist LMFAOOOO) of some What Feeds Below creatures:

Okay, so I did NOT realize this book was going to be this wild!!

We have our main protagonist, who became deaf after getting sick when she was young. One thing I think this book does incredibly well is explore how Black communities sometimes navigate disability without making the story feel like a lecture or an obvious critique.

Our MFC's parents never learned sign language. Instead, they got her hearing aids when she started school and taught her that the world wasn't going to make accommodations for her disability, so she needed to learn how to navigate it.

And honestly...as a Black woman, I understand the complexity of that. It's already hard navigating the world as a Black person, but being Black and disabled adds another layer entirely. Sometimes it feels like there is no room to be vulnerable.

But also...they should have done better. They should have taken the time to support their child and learn ASL instead of placing the responsibility solely on her to be "strong" and adapt.

And I think that's a difficult conversation we sometimes have to have in the Black community. Sometimes the survival skills that helped previous generations navigate the world can unintentionally become the same things that prevent us from giving our children the support and softness they deserve.

What I love is that the author doesn't force the reader to view this through one specific lens. She just tells this character's story, and the commentary is there if you're willing to sit with it. Which I did lol 

Currently, our MFC is engaged to a man who is not treating her the way he should be. And his parents?! HORRIBLE. This book will have you wanting to jump into the pages and wring someone's neck.

What I was NOT expecting was our MMC.

Because this man is...a lot. 😂

He is confident, unapologetic, sexually liberated (this man is spicy friends), he's friends with illegal drag racers, and a successful business owner who truly does not care what people think of him.

And when I first found out about his lifestyle, I was genuinely shocked because the contrast between him and our MFC is so interesting.

We have this bubbly, sensitive Black woman who has spent so much of her life allowing people to overstep her boundaries.

And then we have this man who says exactly what he thinks, knows exactly who he is, and refuses to apologize for it.

This book has been the BEST surprise, and I'm so happy my Instagram audience picked it for me to read.

I'm about 50% through the audiobook, and I am addicted.

At first, the pacing was really fast, but then the author slowed things down and gave us time to truly understand both the MFC and MMC. That slower section was needed because now that we know these characters, the story is about to pick back up with some new information coming to light.

Anywho...what are y'all currently reading?

The votes are in, Fiction it is! This series was picked by our beloved Marcus

While Babel usually gets a lot of the attention when people talk about Kuang, the Poppy War Trilogy is an incredible series too. Instead of a fantasy world based on a European medieval setting, the Poppy War has a decidedly Eastern perspective. These differences create fascinating characters and situations that make the fantasy genre feel new again. Kuang has also created a difficult and sometimes unlikable main character whom you truly root for and care about, which is a near impossible task. I devoured this series. 

What should our next recommendation be?

1984 meets The Handmaid's Tale meets Blade Runner 2049. That's the best mashup I can think of for this book.

I flew through The Infinite State and I barely know how I managed it. The pacing was breathless and tense and nonstop, I really like Swan's writing style! I will wholly admit this is my first book by him, but man... what a banger to start with. This was clearly a poignant project he was passionate about that involved processing a lot of things all at once. It took risks, it was fun, and the characters were all difficult people in an impossible situation.

I love when a book can engage in political commentary without it feeling overburdened and I felt like Swan did a great job. For me, it occasionally felt hamfisted at parts but that's because I am very aware (too aware) of political systems and how they work - that was a Me problem not a Richard problem. For someone who has no foreknowledge, I think the explanations of fascism and democracy are fantastic. He made them conversational and didn't bulldoze you with a billion explainers on theory, he just gave very accessible overviews of what different political systems are and the fact that none of them are perfect. These explainers were essential, too, which sometimes books can forget about when we get too deep in the weeds. He gave readers as much theory as they needed to understand the Empire's threat and the reasons Gabriel was an important project.

I loved the atmosphere Swan included in this book, too. The dreary landscapes of the Empire juxtaposed with the humid, colorful Gabriel was a great visual and even before he described Gabriel in such a way I was already seeing it in that palette. One thing he did well, though, which I think is both hard to do and uncommon to see is the threat of a concept. It's challenging to get the sense of threat in a fascist state translated into a fictional book - let alone a fictional space book - because there's no one singular threatening enemy. Books tend to crystalize around a clear enemy and a clear hero or heroes. I love when they manage to subvert that and turn either into something new, which Swan manages in The Infinite State. He makes the very concept of fascism the bad guy and shows you using the actions of his characters. From the Emperor to Cyprian to Droor to Morita to Morozov, Swan makes it hard to separate the idea of "bad guy" into any singular operator for the Decurion Empire. It isn't even the Decurion Empire that's the villain, necessarily, its the systems and antithetical mindsets that let the Empire exist in the first place.

Swan was very smart and thoughtful about how he leveraged human nature and how the Empire acts in conflict with what we have naturally evolved into. As someone who lovingly refers to myself as a defiant optimist - someone who refuses to stop believing in the best in things or people or situations - I felt very, very seen in this book. Swan believes in the inherent human desire to help and do good and the Empire beating and tormenting that out of people is turning its people into these twisted, abominable visages of humanity that are in direct conflict with one of our most important base instincts. It's the denial of agency and the discouragement of joy that sets the Empire's people to suffering. In their suffering, they're too tired and scared and cynical to do anything to oppose their fascist overlords.

He put so many different facets of what fascism does to people in here that I feel like I could talk about this for a dozen pages at least. One of my favorites was his demonstration of how the Empire's own worst enemy was... the Empire. Not the Free Nations, but itself. You can only stagnate and oppress your people for so long because you start to fall so far behind you create the tools for your own system to collapse. Denial of what human beings are and what we need at our core is a house of cards that always collapses in on itself, it's only ever been a matter of time.

His inclusion of the technology disparity was also very, very fun to watch. When Katherine gets out into the wider world (space, fine fine fine), she's blown away by how much of their suffering in the Empire is the Empire's choice. It's a decision that helps facilitate the repeated subjugation of their people by keeping them sick when they don't have to be, overworked when they don't have to be, poor when they don't have to be. It was a great way to show that the obligation of a government is to care for its people and its decay begins when it loses sight of that goal. When our basic needs aren't met and a government turns it into a flagellation of the people, a moralistic chiding that blames the people it was established to govern instead of itself, it begins to poison itself and heralds its own doom.

Somehow, in all of this, we also managed to fit one of my favorite topics to rant about and I will do my best to stay high level with it: the military industrial complex. I hate the military industrial complex and I got the impression Swan does, too, but he was much better about making The Infinite State informative as to why it's so damaging and terrible for a population to let military privateers run amok than I would have been. The Perpetual War Council from the get go gave me TMJ because, yeah. If you're engaged in perpetual warfare, you're probably in the wrong. He talked about the human canon fodder of their own children the Party members create, how the constant forced birthing and obsession with pregnancy is just a mechanism to feed the constant machine of interstellar war and has nothing to do with women's rights or family, the lack of technological improvement feeds their trumped up propaganda narrative about the nobility of these stupid wars, and how the distance of the people watching the footage of these endless wars keeps them removed from the true horror of them and thus continually in support of these "expansion efforts". The arms fair made my skin crawl, but Swan also was very smart about including why it's necessary to be armed when everyone else around you is armed. I appreciated that inclusion a lot because it's under discussed how when everyone around you has nukes, you need to be able to also defend yourself from nukes kind of thing. Smaller countries arm themselves up because everyone around them has armed themselves up. If they don't they just open themselves up to being overtaken under the guise of "protection" and then fully annexed against their will. Sounds remarkably like a very recent conflict occurring actively today, right?

Okay, I won't preach, I swear. As someone who loves political themes in books and believes fully that reading is political, books are political, and books are affected by the political climate of the era they were written in, this was a very bold story that directly faced down modern issues and conflicts most authors shy away from or leave room to pretend has nothing to do with modern day situations. I felt like Swan confronted complicated current events in a smart, accessible, thoughtful way that you could couch as a reader in terms of science fiction and places that don't exist. While the removal from the current day is there plainly and front and center (in my opinion), the way he bluntly addresses systems is very easily taken into our own world. Too often, authors rename fascism like "urblanagism" or "portoricianism" or give it some made up name that allows us to remove ourselves even farther from the concepts and pretend that's fully made up and not real and doesn't exist outside of the context of that story. Swan didn't. He called a spade a spade and I think in the era of surveillance states, flirting with fascism, and watching once-great governments forget that their priority is the wellbeing of the people they govern? This distinction is relevant, important, and will be a lens into the current state of the world to future readers.

Pater Delenda Est

Hi paid members! Just a reminder that this is the final week to help populate our monthly newsletter with all your cozy, creative joy. This month’s theme is: Cozy Summer🌱

I'd love to see how you're embracing a cozier summer this season! Feel free to share:

• Your favorite summer recipe or treat

• Your current vacation read or a summer book recommendation

• Your garden, porch, patio, or favorite outdoor reading spot

• A picnic, beach day, or cozy summer outing

• Summer-inspired artwork, crafts, or photography

Ready to submit? CLICK HERE to send in your photo, piece of writing, book rec, drawing, etc. by July 31st and I’ll include it.

I can’t wait to see what you submit!
Meg

This Tuesday delivers a big batch of new books. Here is a roundup of romances hitting shelves today that have a Rebel Ever After vibe. Reminder that I haven't read any of these titles yet, so this isn't an official endorsement!

[This isn't an exhaustive list of every romance novel out today. If you are an author with a progressive romance coming out soon, please email brosandprose@gmail.com to get it on my radar!]

Out today 7/28:

Fossil Feud by Maggie North (Dell) — RIVAL PALEONTOLOGISTS! I DO NOT NEED TO SAY MORE.

Pride Comes Before a Fall by Virginia Heath (St. Martin's Griffin) — This Regency heroine writes for a radical newspaper that wants to take down the aristocracy. Must be awkward when she falls in love with a duke! 

Sea of Charms by Sarah Beth Durst (Bramble) — Sarah Beth Durst’s fantasy books are so cozy and lovely. This is the third book in her Spellshop universe. I’m in conversation with her about Sea of Charms at Northport Books on August 12th. Come through! 

Second First Dates by Gabriella Gamez (Forever) — A new contemporary romance by the author of The Next Big Fling and Kiss Me, Maybe. I’ll buy it just to own that beautiful Olivia Dade cover.

Wild Goose Chase by Sarah Adler (Berkley) — Two antique dealers have to find and dispose of an illegal taxidermied goose. This line in the marketing copy killed me: “Will the hunt for their felonious fowl lead to true love, or end in ruin?” Bonkers premise, I’m sold. 

Maggie and Arthur's Magic Moment by Leslie René (Ace) — Magical university professors have to share an office. Even in fantasy realms, those pesky budget cuts in academia, am I right? 

Breakup For Two by E.M. Wilson (Frayed Pages x Wattpad Books) — I’m curious about this imprint spearheaded by breakout Wattpad author Anna Todd. Breakup for Two is pitched for fans of Talia Hibbert, Jackie Lau, and Rachel Lynn Solomon.

New titles missed last week:

How (Not) to Renovate a Haunted House by Jenny L. Howe — I forgot to include this new spooky Summerween YA romance in my last roundup. Jenny is a previous Rebel Ever After guest who writes fantastic fat representation. She just wrote on Instagram about why fat characters are disappearing from YA titles, and her analysis applies to adult romance, too.

Happy Tuesday, mis internet amigxs,

Before we get to all of today's amazing Latine releases, a reminder that we begin reading The Intrigue by Silvia Moreno-Garcia (Audiobook) on SATURDAY over on Discord! I can not wait to scream about this noir with you all!

How YOU can support Bien Leidos

We have a really short introduction this morning because I have TWO books I didn't include in the early exclusive newsletter for the month I wanted to cover. If you want to support the work I do AND receive an early, lengthier look at all these amazing Latine releases, a great way to do it is by supporting me at the Libritos or Lectores membership level. I'm in the process of planning some incredible Latinx Heritage Month content and your support would mean everything!

And now on to today's releases...

YOUNG ADULT NOVEL IN VERSE

Evamar by Margarita Engle

LITERARY FICTION

Beginning, Middle, and End by Valerie Luiselli (Audiobook)

ROMANCE

Second First Dates by Gabrielle Gamez (Audiobook)

TRANSLATED FICTON

The Winds of Maracaibo by Maria Elena Moran (Audiobook)

Five by César Aira and Translated by Chris Andrews

The Red Earth by Morgana Kretzmann and Translated by Daniel Hahn (Audiobook)

SCIENCE FANTASY

The Demon Star by Jesse Aragon (Audiobook)

xo,

Carmen